ANXIETY
Starting at the beginning of this project there were times that I was filled with anxiety. So I’ve been thinking a lot about why something like this could make me feel anxious.
—-
This so far has been the post that I start and stop, start and stop. Why is it so hard to write about the anxiety?
—-
One of the beliefs that I had going into this was that the food that I had around was enough. Now if I really thought about it and was pushed I might acknowledge that I had a lot, but really it felt like enough. So why am I pushing against this?
I’m literally looking at the physical representation of something I believed to be true and challenging myself to acknowledge or prove (not sure which word is right there) its excess.
—-
My anxiety level shoots through the roof on occasion.
—-
I mean, we can end this at any time if it isn’t working for us any more. We don’t have to starve or eat non-nutritious meals. We can just go to the store. But we aren’t.
So when I get anxious I try to take a deeper look at what we have here to first calm down, and then delve deeper within myself to figure out my triggers.
you guys have been such a source of inspiration to me, not just in the physical sense of actually using what you have, but especially being “emotional cosmonauts”. Sometimes it takes what seems like a long time to figure out a particularly deep-seated emotional blip, and then one day, something will trigger a memory and “POW”, your understanding will be like writing on a billboard and you’ll wonder how you didn’t ‘get’ that earlier.
as a wise man once said, “before it’s obvious, it’s not.” It took me TWO YEARS to understand that one! sheesh.
| Posted 1 year, 12 months ago