The thing is that there is still plenty of food.  We are not out of vegetables or fruit yet, dairy is running low, but present still in our diets.  So why the change?  Well I simply got fed up yesterday with not being able to see friends because we were restricting going out and so I spontaneously decided to hang out and chill with a few buddies.

Technically not cheating, but it still feels like the purge is coming to an end.  At best I think we could go another week.  I’m leaving for Haiti on Monday which might stretch it a little.

I guess it just comes down to this: I am going to buy a Kombucha if I want to… and I’m craving Kombucha.

Just in case you miss all the witty talking about the purge->
check out my blog Sustainable Bonanza
-or-
the one I’ve just started called Helping out in Haiti on YourOliveBranch.org, a site for positive news about Peace and Sustainability
-and -
look out soon because the next challenge will be to reduce our household waste in a blog titled ‘Waste Not’

Chaos was finished off a delicious smelling stew of lentils and wheatberries that had been soaking over night and I got ready to put my No knead-bread in the oven.

I think it is crazy that we are still at this and wonder how much longer it will go.

We have not run out of fruits or vegetables, although we are low, and there is still chocolate in the house.

These times and triggers become more evident when there is a limited supply of snack food in the house.  As those quick bites begin to dwindle, well to be fair I began to examine this before they began to dwindle, I had to look at why I was eating in the first place.  It wasn’t for the pleasure of it.  It was more a reaction.

So I watched and waited.

One thing I noticed was that when I was frustrated with a project that I was working on, I opened the cabinets.  Another time, avoiding a phone call I didn’t want to make, sent me to the fridge.  It seems like it might be an avoidance behavior.

So I’m thinking about different ways to take the break that I seem to be seeking.  Here are two things that have helped so far:

1. A quick dance party of two or three songs
2. A short Yoga session in my room

What are your healthy stress responses?

Today, I bopped around the kitchen after two hours of wonderful Yoga and made delicious food for the week.

What did I play around with?

On the stove and in the oven—>

1. No Knead Bread – to be baked tomorrow morning for breakfast
2. Black Raspbery and Rhubarb Crisp – which came out more like berry flavored granola bars, delicious
3. White Bean, Sage and little Pasta Soup
4. Sundried tomatoes marinating in olive oil, with rosemary and black pepper (We had the tomatoes I just wanted to start infusing a little added flavor)
5. Stuffed Acorn Squash with currants, walnuts, maple syrup, butter, rice and TVP

Between all of these successful endeavors (ok so we’ll figure out if the bread is successful tomorrow) I am feeling like the kitchen is mine to conquer!

Friday night I had planned a wonderful evening out with friends in Williamstown to see Laurie Anderson perform her new work, Delusions, and then visit a friend of mine who lives in that area for a home cooked meal to which I was bringing the wine.

My day had already consisted of nearly 3 hours of driving already in CT for the company I work for through rush hour traffic and micro-storms.  Little did I know what was ahead of me.

What ended up transpiring was me driving through an increasingly more impossible snowstorm until I reached West Stockbridge. It was clear to me, after passing several vehicles in the median or smashed into the siderails, that this was a fool’s journey. I was already going to be at least an hour late for the performance if I even made it at all. So with a heavy heart, I called my friend, we canceled the evening. And my nerves, jumping as they were from the drive, needed a break.

That is when I realized I had pulled up in front of a lovely little Mediterranean-style restaurant that was clearly having a disappointingly slow night. So hungry, tired, and nerve-wrecked I paid them a visit.

—-

This so far has been the post that I start and stop, start and stop.  Why is it so hard to write about the anxiety?

—-

One of the beliefs that I had going into this was that the food that I had around was enough.  Now if I really thought about it and was pushed I might acknowledge that I had a lot, but really it felt like enough. So why am I pushing against this?

I’m literally looking at the physical representation of something I believed to be true and challenging myself to acknowledge or prove (not sure which word is right there) its excess.

—-

My anxiety level shoots through the roof on occasion.

—-

I mean, we can end this at any time if it isn’t working for us any more. We don’t have to starve or eat non-nutritious meals.  We can just go to the store.  But we aren’t.

So when I get anxious I try to take a deeper look at what we have here to first calm down, and then delve deeper within myself to figure out  my triggers.

One of the coolest parts about the housewarming weekend to me was the Swap.  We had people bring things that were in their house that they no longer use.  The idea is that people bring a few items and take a few items that they need home with them.  What I wasn’t expecting was that several people also brought items from their pantry that they didn’t use.

Tea from somewhere in China – what kind?  Who knows… Tasted pretty good though.

‘Oh someone doesn’t want popcorn?!’

‘Hot chocolate!’

There were many who found tasty treats to bring home and while the rest of the non-food items will be dropped off at a donation center, the food will be given away. We wouldn’t want you to think that we just have people over when we run out of something, would we?

And here we thought we would be emptying our cupboards

Pre-Ellis Island’s more official and organized role, the records can’t tell me where my family came from beyond Italy or if Bonanza is really my last name or the mis-spelled answer to the question ‘Why are you here?’ ‘What do you do?’ or ‘Where are you from?’  While it is common for non-English speaking immigrants to have unintentional name changes it is the legacy of poverty that I think is in part behind my at-all-times, fully-stocked cabinets.

Food security issue are tied to poverty.  I think it is probably those same food security issues in addition to my love of different flavors that keeps me heading to the store even when I don’t need to go.

I didn’t grow up poor.  Neither did either of my parents.  You have to go back two generations to get to a family member wit a low-income childhood, and yet the effects are still around today.  To me, it shows how even if everyone had their needs met tomorrow the psychological damage can be present years and generations later.

Stats to put this into perspective about the affects of this on our nation currently and potentially in the future->
19% of children live in Poverty (a family of four living on under $22,050)
41% of children live in Low-Income (a family of four living on under $44,100)

This meal was totally easy to put together:
- dump ingredients except miso in 3c. water (about 1 1/2 c per person)
- bring to a boil
- turn off heat
- put into bowls and stir in one spoonful of miso
- eat

The best part is you can play with whatever you have leftover in the fridge to make this satisfying breakfast.  No measurements necessary: it is all to taste!

What interests me about this morning’s experiment is that it isn’t a typical breakfast; I would usually have eggs, yogurt, or hot cereal.  I guess the Pantry Purge has not only become challenging the idea of what is enough (remember we are on day 27,) but also re-thinking what we eat and when.  I wanted soup, so I had soup.  I think breakfast for dinner is a popular happening, but before now, I didn’t often think of having a sandwich for breakfast unless it was an egg and cheese.

I wonder how allowing an unquestioned habit to dictate our meals, actions, and/or beliefs affects happiness, sustainability, or any aspect of our lives.

• Pepperadelle egg pasta
• artichoke hearts
• roasted red peppers
• sundried tomatoes
• sauteed garlic and shallots
• pinch of hot pepper
• pesto
• dried basil and sage

Cook pasta as directed and drain, toss with a little olive oil. Sautee remaining ingredients in together with a pinch of basil and sage. Toss serving of pasta into pan with 2 tbsp pesto. Serve immediately and delight in the awesome.